This week’s issue of Contemplative Communication will guide you in taking a personal inventory of your values. This inventory encourages you to recognize both the positive and negative aspects of your life (no judgment!) and the habits that you've been nurturing. With this inventory, you'll possess a valuable tool for increased self-awareness and evaluating the changes you wish to bring about.
We will be working with values often. ACT inspires this practice — acceptance and commitment therapy — an evidence-based psychotherapy that integrates cutting-edge science with ancient Buddhist ideas.
“Central in both Buddhism and ACT is a recognition of the universality of human suffering and the awareness that practices of acceptance, mindfulness, and clarifying values help us transcend it. These kinds of skills have been shown to help people better manage mental illness, physical illness, profoundly stressful life circumstances, and even to play a better game of chess.” (Schonbrun, 2023)
Make time to take an inventory of your values today. If you can’t today, make a mindfulness date with yourself and put it on your calendar.
Reflection questions:
To maintain my integrity and direction, I need to clearly define my values. I would complete the following sentences in this way:
My most deeply held values are:
Regarding my role in my community, I believe…
Regarding my responsibility to the environment, I believe:
I believe success is:
(How will I know I when I’ve achieved success as I’ve defined it)
I believe happiness is…
Can you name your values?
Can you name your top 4-5 values off the top of your head? Not the ones others believe you should have but your authentic values — the values that reveal your intentions for how you want to conduct yourself as a human being in the world.
Values are not goals — they are directions, a consistent way of doing things.
Full disclosure: When I first tried this, I found it really difficult. I had to read through a list of possible values to begin articulating my own. (See the values list below). Even then, it took a while to sift through them to find authentic ones.
Values transcend visions for possessions or accomplishments. Instead, they focus on your day-to-day actions and behaviors. Values reflect how you want to treat yourself, others, and the world surrounding you. They serve as a compass, guiding your choices and actions as you navigate through life.
If you can’t name your values immediately, this activity is for you, too. Completing this activity was more important than I initially thought. Consciously identifying my values allowed me to articulate certain beliefs that had previously been a little vague and hazy.
Try the activity
Choose your core values. How to choose? Ask yourself these questions:
Which values speak to my core beliefs?
Which values do I currently want to direct my time and energy toward?
Which values support my guiding principles that shape my actions, choices, and interactions in meaningful ways?
Here’s a list to get you started, organized by theme. It is not comprehensive. Your values may not be listed here, but it’s a start.
The values list
Create a living values statement
Once you determine your values, the next step is to restate or define your values in a memorable way that helps you articulate the action behind each value. Use action words or vocabulary that inspires you. Ask yourself:
What can I do to experience this daily?
How can I cultivate my values more mindfully?
I keep my living values list close by as a reminder. It has guided me more than once when I had a decision to make. My current personal values are:
Contemplation (making time and space for contemplative practices, qigong, mediation, and gratitude)
Wisdom (gaining and sharing knowledge through traveling, teaching, workshops, and writing)
Harmony (maintaining a life in balance, including emotions, mental state, health, and spending time in nature)
Freedom (realizing inner liberation, freedom from ignorance, flexible schedule)
Having this list is powerful. It helps me determine what to give my energy and focus to and, more importantly — what not to. It’s a relief to focus on four values and not feel like I have to attend to everything!
My list even influenced my actions in starting this enterprise. Contemplative Communication speaks to all four of my values. I will add this value-based activity to my yearly well-being plan because values are bound to shift as we grow and evolve. Make your value statements meaningful to you so that they inspire and guide you in your daily life.
Show your values
Now for the fun part. A values board can bypass the left-hemisphere speech-oriented part of your brain and move directly to the right hemisphere, which generally dominates the emotional and behavioral processing center. Find or create images that visually represent your values. Place the images where you can see them every day.
Let’s get to know each other better! Share your values in the comments. Learning someone’s core values is a little like being handed a precious glimpse into someone’s inner psyche.